So the saying “you can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes” is definitely something I would say rings true for me now that I’m a parent. I have always been a control freak when it comes to anything in my life. Luckily I have a job that allows me to exercise that controlling need but when I’m at home all bets are off. I never thought that using the same principles that work so well for me at work would be an utter fail for me at home. It sounds so silly that I ever thought that way but in my own naive way I thought it was logical and would work!
My daughter is a VERY strong-willed and independent child and she tells us all the time “no one is the boss of me”! Match her with me who wants to control anything and everything and it makes for fun times in our house. 🙂 I have been forced to learn how to let go of the control. I’m starting to understand that as a parent you kind of learn as you go, that I have to adjust to my child’s personality and temperament and with a little luck hopefully I won’t screw things up too much!
What I used to think:
- Why can’t you control your child and stop them from screaming/melting down?
- Are you letting them go out wearing “that”?!?
- Why are you feeding them McDonald’s, can’t you cook something healthy for your child?
What I think now:
- Young children still are learning how to deal with their emotions and sometimes it just happens to be in public. Every parent has these episodes and it’s normal.
- I’m lucky to get her dressed in anything and as long as she’s not naked then I’m good.
- Sometimes it’s a choice between food or no food and as long as we can fit in healthy food on most days, I’m fine with some fast food when we’re rushing between activities on the odd occasion.
Before actually experiencing all of this for myself, I would say I was guilty of judging. I was one of those people who would cast a look at parents who I thought just didn’t try hard enough or had bad parenting skills. Let’s say a few meltdowns in public (the latest was at Toys R Us just last week over not being able to get yet another set of Shopkins) I no longer judge. I think parenting is the hardest job in the entire world and I’m learning something new every day. To all the parents out there – good luck with the next phase of whatever challenges you are going through right now. I’m sending you positive thoughts that the phase won’t last too long 🙂
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