I no longer JUDGE other parents!

Share Button

So the saying “you can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes” is definitely something I would say rings true for me now that I’m a parent.  I have always been a control freak when it comes to anything in my life.  Luckily I have a job that allows me to exercise that controlling need but when I’m at home all bets are off.  I never thought that using the same principles that work so well for me at work would be an utter fail for me at home.  It sounds so silly that I ever thought that way but in my own naive way I thought it was logical and would work!

My daughter is a VERY strong-willed and independent child and she tells us all the time “no one is the boss of me”!  Match her with me who wants to control anything and everything and it makes for fun times in our house. 🙂  I have been forced to learn how to let go of the control.  I’m starting to understand that as a parent you kind of learn as you go, that I have to adjust to my child’s personality and temperament and with a little luck hopefully I won’t screw things up too much!

What I used to think:

  • Why can’t you control your child and stop them from screaming/melting down?
  • Are you letting them go out wearing “that”?!?
  • Why are you feeding them McDonald’s, can’t you cook something healthy for your child?

What I think now:

  • Young children still are learning how to deal with their emotions and sometimes it just happens to be in public.  Every parent has these episodes and it’s normal.
  • I’m lucky to get her dressed in anything and as long as she’s not naked then I’m good.
  • Sometimes it’s a choice between food or no food and as long as we can fit in healthy food on most days, I’m fine with some fast food when we’re rushing between activities on the odd occasion.

Before actually experiencing all of this for myself, I would say I was guilty of judging.  I was one of those people who would cast a look at parents who I thought just didn’t try hard enough or had bad parenting skills.  Let’s say a few meltdowns in public (the latest was at Toys R Us just last week over not being able to get yet another set of Shopkins) I no longer judge.  I think parenting is the hardest job in the entire world and I’m learning something new every day.  To all the parents out there – good luck with the next phase of whatever challenges you are going through right now.  I’m sending you positive thoughts that the phase won’t last too long 🙂

Comment and share your parenting stories and thoughts below.

And if you have two seconds to spare, don’t forget to support my blog with one click of the banner below.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

54 thoughts on “I no longer JUDGE other parents!

  1. Thanks you Dr climent Scott, for the restoration of my marriage. We have been separated for a 4 years. I started searching on the net for people who God restored their marriages and I found Dr climent the great spell caster how he has help so many relationship by his spell casting with his contact , i contact him for help suddenly after the spell casting my husband return back home 2 days after the spell casting and ask for forgiveness and now we are living together happily once again thank you Dr climent for your help. email Dr climent for help EMAIL via: whatsapp him +2347036879479 or email him drclimentscott @ gmail. com / drclimentscott @ gmail .com

  2. This is my testimony about the good work of Dr Osasu who help me. I’m sorry for putting this on net but i will have to by this world top spell caster that brought back my husband which left me out for past 2 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for
    help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 2 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told have come to pass and thank you sir. Please i want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to problem, i advice you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real,he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tell is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email
    address is drosasu25@gmail.com or directly on whasapp +2347064365391

  3. I have never seen anything that has worked so effective like Chief Dr Lucky spell that was able to bring my lover back to me within 48 hours. I run into luck on that beautiful day that i found Chief Dr Lucky contact details on an article that someone wrote about Chief Dr Lucky i had no choice that to contact and trust him. Chief Dr Lucky shocked me because i was not expecting to get a positive result as fast as that because the way my boyfriend left me was terrible, he lift me for my friend and i was told by Chief Dr Lucky that she used a black magic spell on him. Since the return of my lover i have made a promise that i will write out Chief Dr Luck on the internet and his contact details are +2348132777335 and via email: Chiefdrlucky@gmail.com . His website: http://chiefdrluckysolutionhome.website2.me/

  4. I want to testify about the great spell caster called Chief Dr Wealthy my husband and i have been married for 5 years now we don’t have a child and the doctor told us i can’t give birth because my womb have been damaged due to wrong drugs prescription this got me so worried and my husband was not happy so he decided to get married to another girl and divorce me i was so sad i told my friend about it she told me about a powerful spell caster she gave me his email address well i never believe in it that much though i just decided to give him a try and he told me it will take 48hrs to get my husband back to me and i will get pregnant i doubted him the 3rd day my husband came back to me and was crying he said he didn’t want the divorce anymore 3 weeks after the doctor confirmed that i was pregnant he can also help you contact him vai email: wealthylovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2348105150446

  5. I worked with Doctor Odunga to get my ex husband back to me and also get pregnant with twins girls after 12 years of marriage.
    When I came online last year, I met a testimony about Doctor ODUNGA how he has been helping people with marriage issues and I decided to contact him. We spoke on email at odungaspelltemple @ gmail. com and later he gave me his Whats App number which is +2348167159012. He assured me he would help me get my ex husband back after 3 years of no contact. My husband left me because I was unable to give him a child for 9 years after our marriage. There was no contact between us anymore and I didn’t know how to get to him. Doctor Odunga is the best spell caster I must say. My husband called me after 2 days of contacting Dr. Odunga. The third day, I received a med treatment for fertility from this man, I became fertile. I and my husband reconnected that very week, had sex and I was pregnant. Presently I am happy to say I am the mother of twins girls and this is ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR ODUNGA. I came online to say this If you need help, I believe you are saved with this man. Contact his email at odungaspelltemple @ gmail. com OR Whats App/Call +2348167159012 and you too will give a testimony too to help others

  6. This is so true! The saying “you can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes” is 100% correct! Especially when you contrast things ‘What I used to think’ vs “What I think now”! Personally I couldn’t understand why kids like watching those silly cartoons, but now I’m glad that there are people, who work and produce them as it’s a chance for me to do something while my girl is watching her favorite cartoon and I know that she won’t be doing anything else for at least 10 minutes!

  7. I love your quote of “you can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes”. It is so true! I love the looks that people give you when you are in the middle of the grocery store and your child is throwing a fit because he/she can’t get the one item they think they will die if the object is not in the cart! Sometimes I’ll even ask those people if they would like to babysit for me as my child is screaming throwing himself on the floor in the middle of the aisle. This is reality people, no child is going to be an angel. I’m just thankful I’m not the only parent that experiences this “fun” times! 🙂

  8. I used to be judgemental. 4 kids later and I’m not any more! The thing with tantrums, fussy eating, refusing to wear/ eat/ have anything at all to do with stuff that doesn’t have Thomas the Tank Engine, it’s all perfectly normal and they grow out of it. It would be a lot easier if people didn’t judge though!

  9. It’s so true… we think so many things but once we’re in the thick of it, those principles sometimes are thrown to curb (whether permanently or temporarily).

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

  10. LOL! All bets are off once you have your own children! I never understood before how much you could love someone and want to throttle them at the same time, now I do! I had to learn these lessons too, I figured it’s only hair, or clothes, or a bad moment. For all of us to come out standing there are so many things you have to let go. Looks like you’re doing great!

  11. Very true. It can be all too easy to judge at times, but unless we know the person well, we shouldn’t judge them. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

  12. I actually bizarrely like seeing other children throw a tantrum it makes me feel better and not so alone. All children have hissy fits from time to time. I remember my own son being marched out of the park kicking and screaming and I wished the ground would swallow me up.

  13. Great post! Every child and family is different! I was so bad before I had kids. I quickly learned that many of those theories/best practices went out the window when you were just trying to get through the day. My daughter had the biggest meltdown in history last year as I was hauling her 3 year flinging body out of the water park and all our junk…I’m sure I was being judged, but I had my eye on the car and being able to put her down.

  14. Great post! My daughter used to dress herself (in crazy outfits), and she was so proud that she could do it all by herself. :0) Thanks for sharing with us at the Merry Monday Link Party! Hope to see you again on Sunday night.

  15. I totally agree with you, every parent deals differently with every child as every child is totally different from each other. It’s annoying when other people judge us parents with what we’re doing with our own kids when all we want is the best for them. Lovely post! #binkylinky

  16. I think having children entirely changes your perspective on life and actually have my second child made me more relax as she is much more high maintenance than my son! Nothing wrong with a McDonalds every now and then anyway 🙂

  17. Yes! The realities of parenthood teach us a lot! For me, it was even a step further after adopting a little one with mental, behavioral, and physical special needs. It was God’s next lesson for me in accepting that I am not in control – even with all my education and experience! This was a great post! I’m so glad I stopped by to visit from Waywow!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

  18. This is the truth!!
    I remember questioning parents (in my head) on their decisions, but now I get it.
    Now, that I’m a parent I do have a better understanding, but also now that I’m older, I embrace empathy. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing with us at #MMBH
    XOXO

  19. Haha love this. I wrote a very similar blog a couple of months back, Thou Shall Not Judge! I think its only when you have children of your own that you realise just how hard it is!! Great post, thanks for sharing. #MMWHB

  20. Yep…never say never. I have 4 children and all surprised me at one time or another. I knew I had finally let go when I stood in a bathroom at a crowded stadium letting my 2 1/2 year old daughter (who mind you should not have been along for the game) lay on the floor throwing a huge tantrum with people gawking. I never judge…you never know what that parent could be dealing with anyway. Great post!

  21. I am so guilty of being judgemental… until I had kids. You really can’t control their actions and both of my children are the definition of a strong willed child.

  22. I’m totally with you on this. Now I just want to run over and help anyone I see with an upset child because I’ve been there way too many times to count… #smallvictoriessunday

  23. I used to be judgmental. Then I had an autistic child (probably two, actually, but one isn’t diagnosed yet) and now I’m more likely to give a sympathetic smile than an eye roll!

    #TwinklyTuesday

  24. Definitely true! When I didn’t have kids I would say “I would never do that ” “why is she letting her child do this” and so on but now that I am a parent myself, I totally get it. Being a parent is very hard and at the same time a true blessing.
    #twinkletuesday

  25. Oh I could have written this! My daughter is very strong willed. All the techniques that worked on my son (like time outs and bribery!) just don’t work on her. Sometimes she just needs to get her frustrations out to feel better so I let her. When I see parents facing similar battles I try not to judge as I know it could so easily be me. Great post 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

  26. My life!! Today I dressed a screaming toddler in the hall of an elementary school after pre-school, then chased her though Chapters in the afternoon, eventually gave up, strapped her screaming in the stroller, throwing her boots and clothes everywhere. Carrying the baby out too. Parenting is so friggin exhausting! If we are fed and alive at the end of the day I call it a success lol!

    You should come link up at our Bloggers Spotlight party on Thursday, we pin everything to our group board and have two separate link-ups, one for posts and one devoted to pins so you get even more exposure!
    http://www.raisingfairiesandknights.com/category/bloggers-spotlight/

  27. My boys were angels, and I couldn’t understand the behavior of some children- until I had my daughter. Then, I understood very quickly. Nothing that worked with the boys worked for her. I got a lot of compassion for other parents really quick! We think we are teaching our children, but really they are teaching us to be better people. Great post!

    1. My daughter was an angel as well until she hit three years old. I too couldn’t understand why everyone else had such a hard time and learned very quickly. We skipped terrible two’s and went straight to tantrum three’s!

  28. I’m not a parent just a pet parent. When I see little kids out and about with their parents and they are screaming and trying to run away, I just want to hug the parents. As you said, the little ones are still learning to deal with their emotions. It sounds like your doing a great job!

  29. Aha, the Shopkins induced meltdown. We have those!!
    I was definitely one of those who thought, ‘What is your child wearing?!’ but now feel the embarrassment of my daughter wearing everything in her wardrobe all at once!!
    However, I feel I probably do still judge. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t 🙁
    #justanotherlinky

  30. Your transformation as a parent is inspiring. It’s easy to perceive something one way until you are actually in that person’s shoes. Great post. Enjoyed reading it.

Leave a Reply to Annette, 3 Little Buttons Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *