There are lots of people who I talk to who know very early on that they want to have kids. Unfortunately I wasn’t one of them but our decision to have our precious little Ella was the best decision we could have made! No regrets for sure and she makes our life and purpose on this world so much more meaningful.
Now onto the hard question that I’ve struggled with and constantly get asked – “so when are you having another?”. My answer is always, “we’ve decided to only have one as it’s a lot of work to balance with a career and not have to sacrifice the other things we still want to do” (insert cringe here or similar reaction). It’s a choice that I’m confident is right for us. But still, there is always a small nagging voice that comes with this decision.
- Am I being too selfish?
- Will Ella be okay on her own without a sibling to lean on when parents are not the first choice to confide in?
- Will she become too spoiled being an only child and not develop those core social skills that she’ll need once she becomes an adult?
- Will she be lonely during the holidays or other family-oriented occasions when we’re no longer around?
- and the list goes on…..
The GUILT and the questions are always there. I try to live my life with no regrets and that is how I approach everything I do or decisions I make. Whether the decision to have only one child was the right one unfortunately I will never be able to answer and there is no way I’ll ever know.
The worst is when Ella asks us at 5yrs old what happens when we die and she’s all alone! That’s the worst question of all and makes me very sad when she asks. We try to comfort her by telling her that she has lots of great friends and cousins around and potentially she’ll have her own family one day so she won’t be alone. That’s the best I got so here’s hoping that is enough.
Thanks for listening and sharing in my thoughts.
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